Canaima, you´ve got spiders!
As you know from the local newspaper headlines, radio reports, and coroner inquests, our country has been invaded by a lethal spider accidently imported from Sout America. McClintock infestation management welcomes this opportunity to show off our capabilities and espand our business. In fact, the war on arachnids is increasing so rapidly. We have immediate openings for persons with the proper bug busting moxie to fit into our entomological SWAT team.
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Ask yourself:
* could you dodge a baseball with 8 legs, a hairy bod and a posonous sac?
* Could you hit a black dot with a billowing toxic mist at 20 paces?
* Could you tell a spider from a canary?
Extermination is a crusade for us. In relationship to the insect world, we´re a bit like the roman armies of old. We´er cruel. Vengeful, even. But we fill an important niche in the ecosystem and our pay is competitive. If I´ve thoroughly convinced you of the extreme importance of the arachnid abatement technician in this delicate world balance of man vs. insect, grab your teflon swatter and let´s rock ´n´ roll!
Lesson 1: A guideline to you workday
What we got are, towns. Hysterical towns. Canaima´s not the only one demanding our expert services. Sister cities throughout the stat are clamoring for assistance. Why don´t these cities simply walk their fingers through the phone directory and support their own economies by hiring local exterminators? Toxi_Max - the private McClintock stock that´s why. Fumigatory four star finery. And right now it´s the only juice that´s effective on the varmints.
As a part of our team, I am assigning you a company vehicle with unlimited mileage. You´re going to travel from town to town, making house calls on hysterical inhabitants. In each community defenseless domiciles have been pre-empted by these conscience less beasties.
Here´s the guideline to your workday:
1. When you arrive in a town, you get an overhead map of the area on your monitor. Pick the building you want to go into and stop your truck in front of it to enter.
2. Go through the house, school, cemetery - or wherever else you may be. Find the queen spider, and blast the mother! she rules the roost, if you can eradicate her hairy rear, that town is once again safe for inhabitation. As you make your path toward her, you´ll undoubtedly have to nuke quite a few of her evil minions, the soldier spiders.
3. Across the bottom of your monitor are: That´s me. I represent the status of your helth. The sticker I look, the sicker you are!
This non-reproducing queen offspring can infiltrate your home or business by the hundreds. Look for them both high and low. When they´re not shuffling at shoelace level, these gymnostic little buggers will leap up from the fround or swing down form the ceiling. Fortunately, one good shot of Toxi-Max spray insecticide ensecticide ensures their immediate demise.
You can withstand gour af their little toothy bites before succumbing. How can you survive four whien mere mortals buckle under one? Credit to McClintock uniform that you´re wearing with pride, carefully handwoven by the lovely ladies of the Canaima seniors center to make spider fang penetration especially difficult.
Queen spider
The colorful markings on here legs and abdomen disguise the deadly serious nature of this momma. She is highly aggressive and strangely intelligent, actually seeking out human prey. Tough as nails, she needs many strong doses of Toxi-Max insecticide before expiring. Bug bombs will temporarily slow her down, giving you the opportunity asphyxiate her with multiple shots of insecticide spray or completely toast her with the hot flame of an ignited aerosol can.
Two bites form this femme fatale and you´re a proverbial notch in her belt. Take my advice, don´t get close enough to see her whites of her eyes, especially since she doesn´t have any.
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